Call Trading Standards!

There are certain expectations a girl grows up with only to have them dashed, shattered, splattered and destroyed. One of these moments happened when I was 19 on my first foray into the world of casinos. Raised on a diet of James Bond, I thoroughly expected all the men to be dashingly handsome Europeans in tuxedos (even though this casino was in Australia) and all the women to be couture-clad uber-evil Russian ice princesses. How disappointed was I to find that most people in a casino are badly dressed, balding, middle-aged drunks smelling vaguely of desperation.

I have finally had to concede that another icon of my childhood was in fact a lie. Two years ago I had, for a brief but very happy period, an English class for embassy staff. Of course, it was a professional engagement, so when no Ferrero Rocher were provided during class time, I took it on the chin. After all, according to childhood legend, these chocolate feast-ettes were provided at the ambassador’s reception, not necessarily his workplace. However, yesterday I was lucky enough to be invited to the ambassador’s party. There I was, all togged up and ready to dive in to a glorious golden mountain of ‘excellente’ chocolate / hazelnut orbs of wonderment. I’d been practicing snack-based compliments in my best dodgy European accent, and had even gone all 80’s with the blusher. I’d spent two weeks in dessert training to expand my pudding belly. I’d really gone all out for the occasion, only to be stymied. Not a Golden Ball in sight. Not even a brassy hemisphere or a gilt dot.

They lied to me.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Stephanie (aka Genie of the Ring Understudy)
    Oct 18, 2013 @ 15:12:58

    FERRERO ROCHER!! It’s a piece of heaven wrapped in gold!!!

    Also, I too grew up watching James Bond movies (my dad is a big biiiiiig fan, I’ve watched them all with him!) We should discuss Bond movies sometime. someday.

    P.S: my first time in a casino was with my grandma… we had a blast 🙂



    • Pieces of 8
      Oct 18, 2013 @ 16:34:02

      I am given to understand that Ferrero Rocher translates from Italian as, “teardrops of the angels,” although I haven’t had that confirmed by an independent source.

      Yes, casinos turned out to be fun despite the initial sense of disappointment. I have decided that if there is going to be a couture-clad evil villainess, it’s going to have to be me. So now I have to choose…. more Ferrero Rocher, or a waistline that will comply with that Alexander McQueen gown….? Decisions, decisions.



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